thE SECRET hiSTORy OF thE WORLD. This book of revolutionary importance is essential reading. With this original work, Laura Knight-Jadczyk shares with us. The Secret History of The World and How To Get Out Alive is the definitive Laura Knight-Jadczyk, wife of internationally known theoretical. The Secret History of The World. This book of revolutionary importance is essential reading. With this original work, Laura Knight-Jadczyk shares with us her.
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The Secret History of the World And How to Get Out Alive Books by Laura Knight- Jadczyk The Wave Series The High Stran. Editorial Reviews. About the Author. Laura Knight-Jadczyk is a historian and author of 14 books Book 1 of 3 in The Secret History of the World (3 Book Series). The Secret History of the World and How to Get Out Alive [Laura Knight-Jadczyk, Patrick Rivière] on momysufphypa.cf *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.
Personality can be defined by the way a person habitually perceives, relates to and interacts with others and the world at large. The tactics of deceit, manipulation and control are a steady diet for covert-aggressive personality. It's the way they prefer to deal with others and to get the things they want in life. The Process of Victimization For a long time, I wondered why manipulation victims have a hard time seeing what really goes on in manipulative interactions.
At first, I was tempted to fault them. But I've learned that they get hoodwinked for some very good reasons: A manipulator's aggression is not obvious. Our gut may tell us that they're fighting for something, struggling to overcome us, gain power, or have their way, and we find ourselves unconsciously on the defensive.
But because we can't point to clear, objective evidence they're aggressing against us, we can't readily validate our feelings. The tactics manipulators use can make it seem like they're hurting, caring, defending, These tactics are hard to recognize as merely clever ploys. They always make just enough sense to make a person doubt their gut hunch that they're being taken advantage of or abused.
Besides, the tactics not only make it hard for you to consciously and objectively tell that a manipulator is fighting, but they also simultaneously keep you or consciously on the defensive. These features make them highly effective psychological weapons to which anyone can be vulnerable.
It's hard to think clearly when someone has you emotionally on the run. All of us have weaknesses and insecurities that a clever manipulator might exploit. Sometimes, we're aware of these weaknesses and how someone might use them to take advantage of us. For example, I hear parents say things like: "Yeah, I know I have a big guilt button.
Besides, sometimes we're unaware of our biggest vulnerabilities. Manipulators often know us better than we know ourselves. They know what buttons to push, when and how hard. Our lack of self-knowledge sets us up to be exploited. What our gut tells us a manipulator is like, challenges everything we've been taught to believe about human nature. We've been inundated with a psychology that has us seeing everybody, at least to some degree, as afraid, insecure or "hung-up. We hesitate to make harsh or seemingly negative judgments about others.
We want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they don't really harbor the malevolent intentions we suspect.
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We're more apt to doubt and blame ourselves for daring to believe what our gut tells us about our manipulator's character. Recognizing Aggressive Agendas Accepting how fundamental it is for people to fight for the things they want and becoming more aware of the subtle, underhanded ways people can and do fight in their daily endeavors and relationships can be very consciousness expanding.
Learning to recognize an aggressive move when somebody makes one and learning how to handle oneself in any of life's many battles, has turned out to be the most empowering experience for the manipulation victims with whom I've worked. It's how they eventually freed themselves from their manipulator's dominance and control and gained a much needed boost to their own sense of self esteem.
Recognizing the inherent aggression in manipulative behavior and becoming more aware of the slick, surreptitious ways that manipulative people prefer to aggress against us is extremely important. Not recognizing and accurately labeling their subtly aggressive moves causes most people to misinterpret the behavior of manipulators and, therefore, fail to respond to them in an appropriate fashion.
Recognizing when and how manipulators are fighting with covertly aggressive tactics is essential. Defense Mechanisms and Offensive Tactics Almost everyone is familiar with the term defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms are the "automatic" i. More specifically, ego defense mechanisms are mental behaviors we use to "defend" our self-images from "invitations" to feel ashamed or guilty about something.
There are many different kinds of ego defenses and the more traditional psychodynamic theories of personality have always tended to distinguish the various personality types, at least in part, by the types of ego defenses they prefer to use. One of the problems with psychodynamic approaches to understanding human behavior is that they tend to depict people as most always afraid of something and defending or protecting themselves in some way; even when they're in the act of aggressing.
Covert-aggressive personalities indeed all aggressive personalities use a variety of mental behaviors and interpersonal maneuvers to help ensure they get what they want. Some of these behaviors have been traditionally thought of as defense mechanisms. While, from a certain perspective we might say someone engaging in these behaviors is defending their ego from any sense of shame or guilt, it's important to realize that at the time the aggressor is exhibiting these behaviors, he is not primarily defending i.
Seeing the aggressor as on the defensive in any sense is a set-up for victimization. Recognizing that they're primarily on the offensive, mentally prepares a person for the decisive action they need to take in order to avoid being run over. Therefore, I think it's best to conceptualize many of the mental behaviors no matter how "automatic" or "unconscious" they may appear we often think of as defense mechanisms, as offensive power tactics, because aggressive personalities employ them primarily to manipulate, control and achieve dominance over others.
Rather than trying to prevent something emotionally painful or dreadful from happening, anyone using these tactics is primarily trying to ensure that something they want to happen does indeed happen. Using the vignettes presented in the previous chapters for illustration, let's take a look at the principal tactics covert-aggressive personalities use to ensure they get their way and maintain a position of power over their victims: Denial — This is when the aggressor refuses to admit that they've done something harmful or hurtful when they clearly have.
It's a way they lie to themselves as well as to others about their aggressive intentions. This "Who This denial is not the same kind of denial that a person who has just lost a loved one and can't quite bear to accept the pain and reality of the loss engages in.
That type of denial really is mostly a "defense" against unbearable hurt and anxiety. Rather, this type of denial is not primarily a "defense" but a maneuver the aggressor uses to get others to back off, back down or maybe even feel guilty themselves for insinuating he's doing something wrong. In the story of James the minister, James' denial of his ruthless ambition is massive. He denied he was hurting and neglecting his family.
He especially denied he was aggressively pursuing any personal agenda. On the contrary, he cast himself as the humble servant to a honorable cause. He managed to convince several people and maybe even himself of the nobility and purity of his intentions. But underneath it all, James knew he was being dishonest: This fact is borne out in his reaction to the threat of not getting a seat on the Elders' Council if his marital problems worsened.
When James learned he might not get what he was so aggressively pursuing after all, he had an interesting "conversion" experience. All of a sudden, he decided he could put aside the Lord's bidding for a weekend and he might really need to devote more time to his marriage and family.
The Secret History Of The World
James' eyes weren't opened by the pastor's words. He always kept his awareness high about what might hinder or advance his cause. He knew if he didn't tend to his marriage he might lose what he really wanted. So, he chose at least temporarily to alter course. In the story of Joe and Mary, Mary confronted Joe several times about what she felt was insensitivity and ruthlessness on his part in his treatment of Lisa.
Joe denied his aggressiveness. He also successfully convinced Mary that what she felt in her gut was his aggressiveness was really conscientiousness, loyalty, and passionate fatherly concern. Joe wanted a daughter who got all A's.
Mary stood in the way. Joe's denial was the tactic he used to remove Mary as an obstacle to what he wanted.
Selective Inattention — This tactic is similar to and sometimes mistaken for denial It's when the aggressor "plays dumb," or acts oblivious. When engaging in this tactic, the aggressor actively ignores the warnings, pleas or wishes of others, and in general, refuses to pay attention to everything and anything that might distract them from pursuing their own agenda. Often, the aggressor knows full well what you want from him when he starts to exhibit this "I don't want to hear it!
By using this tactic, the aggressor actively resists submitting himself to the tasks of paying attention to or refraining from the behavior you want him to change. In the story of Jenny and Amanda, Jenny tried to tell Amanda she was losing privileges because she was behaving irresponsibly. But Amanda wouldn't listen.
Her teachers tried to tell her what she needed to do to improve her grade: but she didn't listen to them either.
Actively listening to and heeding the suggestions of someone else are, among other things, acts of submission. And, as you may remember from the story, Amanda is not a girl who submits easily. Determined to let nothing stand in her way and convinced she could eventually "win" most of her power struggles with authority figures through manipulation, Amanda closed her ears. She didn't see any need to listen. From her point of view, she would only have lost some power and control if she submitted herself to the guidance and direction offered by those whom she views as less powerful, clever and capable as herself.
Rationalization — A rationalization is the excuse an aggressor tries to offer for engaging in an inappropriate or harmful behavior. It can be an effective tactic, especially when the explanation or justification the aggressor offers makes just enough sense that any reasonably conscientious person is likely to fall for it.
It's a powerful tactic because it not only serves to remove any internal resistance the aggressor might have about doing what he wants to do quieting any qualms of conscience he might have but also to keep others off his back.
If the aggressor can convince you he's justified in whatever he's doing, then he's freer to pursue his goals without interference. In the story of little Lisa, Mary felt uneasy about the relentlessness with which Joe pursued his quest to make his daughter an obedient, all-A student once again.
And, she was aware of Lisa's expressed desire to pursue counseling as a means of addressing and perhaps solving some of her problems. Although Mary felt uneasy about Joe's forcefulness and sensed the impact on her daughter, she allowed herself to become persuaded by his rationalizations that any concerned parent ought to know his daughter better than some relatively dispassionate outsider and that he was only doing his duty by doing as much as he possibly could to "help" his "little girl.
For example, when Joe was "selling" Mary on the justification for shoving his agenda down everyone's throat he was also sending out subtle invitations for her to feel ashamed shaming her for not being as "concerned" a parent as he was as well as making her feel guilty guilt-tripping her for not being as conscientious as he was pretending to be. Diversion — A moving target is hard to hit.
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When we try to pin a manipulator down or try to keep a discussion focused on a single issue or behavior we don't like, he's expert at knowing how to change the subject, dodge the issue or in some way throw us a curve.
Manipulators use distraction and diversion techniques to keep the focus off their behavior, move us off-track, and keep themselves free to promote their self-serving hidden agendas. Rather than respond directly to the issue being addressed, Amanda diverted attention to her teacher's and classmates' treatment of her.
Jenny allowed Amanda to steer her off track. She never got a straight answer to the question. Another example of a diversion tactic can be found in the story of Don and Al. Al changed the subject when Don asked him if he had any plans to replace him. He focused on whether he was unhappy or not with Don's sales performance — as if that's what Don had asked him about in the first place.
He never gave Don a straight answer to a straight question manipulators are notorious for this. He told him what he thought would make Don feel less anxious and would steer him away from pursuing the matter any further. Al left feeling like he'd gotten an answer but all he really got was the "runaround.
One time I asked: "Did you bring your books home today? Instead of tomorrow, we're not going to have our test — until Friday. His answer was deliberately evasive and diversionary. He knew that if he answered the question directly and honestly, he would have received a consequence for failing to bring his books home.
By using diversion and also offering a rationalization he was already fighting with me to avoid that consequence. Their parents were well to do, established in the drug business, and involved in politics to some extent as various family members held assorted offices, backed often by my paternal grandfathers money.
Keeping the family face was an important issue, even if there were rumors that Tom Knight had made most of his money running rum from the Bahamas during Prohibition. However he made his money, he spent it liberally on his children. And, judging by the letters and documents I inherited when my father died, he also spent a great deal of time with his children.
There are endless pictures of them on family outings, hunting or fishing, dressed in their matching sporting clothes, or riding clothes, or standing with displays of long stringers of huge fish.
Accompanying this story is a series of newspaper clippings, because it involved a prank truly larger than life, just like my father. The competing newspaper printed a similar story headlined: Harrowing Experience: 7 Lost Boys.
The lurid writing style is more like what weve come to expect in weekly tabloids, but the story it relates is truly hysterical. Scores of Plant City citizens spent Sunday recuperating from an experience that but few have had to endure, the lead paragraph begins.
They had spent the greater part of the previous night wading and sloshing about in the treacherous swamps of the Hillsborough River, seeking rescue of seven Plant City boys ranging in age from ten to near thirteen years. The tale continues: The youngsters were members of a Sunday school camping party who spent Friday night on the north border of the great Hillsborough river swampand the story relative to their predicament was of such nature to at once arrest the attention of anyone.
The search lasted until oclock Sunday morning, when one of the posse came upon the youngsters reclining on a long log two miles from the nearest road and more than a mile from the outer recesses of the great swamp, so dense in this particular region that only the pioneer, or old-timer accustomed to penetrate it, could be expected to 22 pass inside its portals with reasonable expectations of getting out without assistance. The seven lost boys were Jack and Fred Knight, twin sons of Mr.
Tom J. Knight, [among] guests of Justice of the Peace Garland M. Branch, the outing being tendered by Mr. Branch in recognition of their good attendance at Sunday school. All went fairly well until Friday night, when [one boy] stumbled while being chased by camp-mates and fell partly into one of the campfires, sustaining painful burns on the wrists and chest.
Branch immediately brought the lad home, where he could receive medical attention Within a few minutes after Mr. Branch departed, three young men The men had been drinking, it was said, and had a rifle and some revolvers which they removed from their car when they stopped at the boys camp-site.
The men were decidedly boisterous The youngster and his companions were ordered into the open at the point of pistols and then told to dance.
When one of the youths stopped from sheer exhaustion, the men shot at his feet and demanded that he continue. After dancing for some time, the youth was seized and a bottle containing what he thought was whisky was pressed against his lips and he was forced to swallow. Attempts were made, young Knight said, to force liquor into the mouths of the other boys. Further accounts were equally melodramatic. The tale continued: While medical aid was administered to the seven boys of the First Baptist Sunday School of Plant City who, Saturday night, were driven into the dense swamps around Lake Thonotosassa by the threats of drunken revelers These events came at the height of Prohibition.
Never mind that he might have made money on liquor. My grandfather was outraged that his own children would be assaulted by anyone and forced to drink demon rum! As it turned out, of course, he had to eat a lot of crow. Smiling and apparently unconcerned at charges filed against them, three of the four young men implicated in an alleged malicious assault on a group of Plant City boys Upon their entrance in the jail the youths regarded the matter as a joke and did not appear worried by their plight.
They submitted to a search in a jovial manner and expressed surprise when they were led to a cell. It was their first experience behind bars, they said, and it was not until they had been in confinement several hours that their jubilant spirit waned and smiles were replaced by troubled brows and tear-dimmed eyes. At this point, the newspaper accounts end, because the truth came out.
What really happened: the innocent boys, led by ringleaders Jack and Fred, had set up the whole plot.
They maneuvered to be left behind, having secretly made arrangements to download whiskey from the three men. They had dreams of being the new Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. Of course, they didnt expect to get found so quickly, lolling in their drunken state on a log in the swamp.
And, they most certainly did not expect people who searched for them in the muck, in the rain, all night, to get so serious about it all that theyd actually demand to arrest the fellows who had been their source of liquor! Finally the boys told the real story, and apparently provided proof theyd been paid for the liquor out of the well-lined pockets of my father Jack and his equally rapscallion brother.
This was just a precursor to Jacks later escapades. As he grew older, my father became one of the champion drinkers of the county, dedicated to driving faster than anyone in his crowd. In his early twenties, home on leave as a Navy chemist, his arm was broken so badly in a car 25 crash that numerous operations were required to reassemble it in normal conformation. He recovered from other, nearly fatal, injuries, but in the course of surgeries and intermittent recovery, he became addicted to morphine.
Remember: his father was in the drug business. Well, dear old Dad, not to miss any opportunity, decided to reform his life, use his Navy training, and go into the drug business with his father. And the addiction was covered up for a very long time. My mother Alice was quite a bit younger than Jack. The heroic figure he presented as a star football stud helped him charm and seduce as many young girls as possible.
In freshman year, Mother and her circle considered Jack the hottest and most dangerous guy in town. But by the time she finished high school, he was in the Navy, out of sight and mind, and Mother married someone else. One day, after his recovery from many surgeries, they literally ran into each other, crossing the street in opposite directions. Apparently, it was a stunning event for both, because they immediately decided to go to a nearby cafe for lunch. By the time they finished dessert and coffee, Mother had agreed to divorce her husband and marry my father.
This may seem very romantic or very foolhardy. But it brings us back to the idea of families as planetary systems. My fathers family was rather proud, claiming as many do to be descended from royalty. In later years, when searching for clues to my own internal make-up, I discovered that one of the Knight men had married a woman descended from the noble De Ferrieres. This was the only provable link. But I also discovered 26 something else. The Knights were singularly consanguineous, marrying cousins to cousins, uncles to nieces, and so forth down through the generations.
It seemed a kind of internal mandate to combine and recombine their bloodlines, with an occasional infusion of new blood from time to time. Some theorists would suggest this was a risky practice. But, by and large, they were powerful personalities, pioneers of the region.
Genealogy articles Ive discovered assert that Mr. Knight became the ancestors of a large and influential family connection of South Florida, where most of the Knight children lived and died.
Samuel Knight, my greatgreat-great grandfather, was noted as an influential man of his day. About his son, it was written: Jesse Knight was a local preacher in the Methodist Church, and did much work in this section in establishing and developing churches.
Another, written on the death of my greatgrandmother, Martha Collins Knight, tells us: The passing of Martha Ann Collins Knight removes one of the few remaining links between the present and the long-distant past when the lives of the pioneers were silhouetted against the rugged skyline of frontier days. She was married to William Samuel KnightI will try to address and expand the above points and, perhaps, try to add some new ideas, if only for the future discussion.
Of course it did explain perfectly why half the human race were soulless, evil creatures and we all are fascinated by that idea why do some behave as if demons have their souls in thrall.
In an age of mass media, the worldwide web and multinational corporations, how do these archetypal dramas play themselves out? Religion, if analyzed sincerely and critically, has many dark spots, and analyzing the reasons for this is not an easy task. He married his niece.
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